in mean time later

alright, so lets just say it's over and make it simple. maybe we're not meant to be match for each other, to go to that way. maybe we can make it someday, somehow, in the other line.
after all, i never enjoy the every single of our conversation lately. even if when you sounds excited. i don't know. the first time we met we both were so extremely excited. you know.... i was exactly, hehe. you just excited, not extremely. but you just so... unpredictable. no, hot and cold, perhaps. well actually it's not my rights to judge you while i just known you for a couple months. but that's the way i feel.
one day you went like a good listener, in other day you went boring, and another day again you were so excited. i don't know whether you playin me, or you wanna figure out how good i am. or maybe you want something you used to have from your last relationship and try to make it with me then suddenly you realize that you're not even ready for that. but it's okay, none of your fault.
i guess i'm tired to hope. it gets worse everyday with this something-i-dont-know with you. though it isn't easy for me to let it go. cause i care already.
maybe i took this too far. i was too excited about you. or maybe it's been wrong right from the start.
but thanks for being nice after all this time.

Evade

you always said that every where, thousands fucking times. dude, pain is just pain. nothing special in pain, in fact every single human feels pain. what becomes the problem is that your thought about pain demands to be felt. hell no, pain is just pain. shit happens sometimes, however, you can always choose how you will face it.
so instead of keep on saying that retarted word, i think you should just let it go. just accept that he's a real jerk. and about your relationship, well it's over. you just broke up, i mean, yeah, everyone has got to do it sometimes, it's okay, let it go.

but no, i'm not saying like this so that you can move on as quick and go hangout with me. no at all, it is just i feel like something in you has to be straighten up.

well perhaps you know neither that i've written a lot about you, nor  that i have a blog. but yeah, just in case somehow you know about my blog.

so that's all, stay tough, stay gorgeous.
i would love to have a conversation with you, i really wish that we could spend times together. just both of us, talking about our lives and understands.

RIMA MENGANGA

melulu mengenai cinta
padahal kau mungkin tak tahu apa itu cinta
gundah hati selalu ingin mencari cinta
walau harus korbankan waktu dan habiskan tenaga

pilu hati selalu alami kisah cinta pedih
kala terjatuh dan tertatih - tatih
pun demikian dijalani demi mencari yang sehati
padahal ada satu hal pasti menanti
ujian terintergrasi

hal terakhir ku alami tentang cinta
gadis manis bernama *****ra
di wajahnya senyum manis selalu tertera
tetapi dia sedang terlihat merana
putus cinta yang tak pernah dia kira

ingin hati mencoba menghibur
tapi apa daya dia tetap tersungkur
makin ku coba tuk menghibur
tapi ku takut akan tidak membaur

lupakan saja dia yang melukaimu
jangan biarkan air mata menghapus senyum mu
hargai dirimu untuk melupakan dia yang tak pantas untuk mu
lihatlah sekitar, cerah dunia menanti kembali senyum mu

tapi apa daya ku tuk membantu melepas belenggu
salah salah malah jadi mengganggu
dan apa daya ku untuk tidak mengganggu
hanya terduduk setia menunggu

KU AKAN TERUS KERAS BERNYANYI.

cepet sembuh ya, bed rest yg banyak

jujur gua lebih suka lo ngomong langsung. walaupun sakit ya tapi emang bener gitu kan, fair kok. gua menghargai alesan lo kenapa ga bales line gua lagi. lo msh pengen sama dia. gua gabisa bilang apa apa lagi kalo emang kayak gitu faktanya. se-"ganteng2"-nya hal yg gua lakuin, ya tetep gabisa gua kalahin, dia cowok yg pernah bikin lo jatuh hati, bikin hari hari lo berarti, bikin lo senyum2 karena tingkahnya. gua? ha ha ha lo siapa nya reeey.
tapi gua udh terlanjur, terlajur semuanya. terlanjur suka, terlanjur seneng, terlanjur care sama lo. gua suka bgt kalo pas lg ngobrol sama lo, gatau kenapa. tapi yaudah lah, sabar. good luck ya sama yg disana.
gua ga benci ataupun marah sama lo, krn lo berani jelasin lgsg ke gua. selow, bener kok hal yg lo lakuin. fair buat gua.

at least respect me enough to tell me what's up. if you dont want to talk to me, just tell me. if i'm getting on your nerves, just let me know. if you're losing feelings, dont keep me waiting just to lead me on or play me. i at least deserve to know. so instead of keeping things to yourself just be straight up and honest with me so i dont have to sit around looking stupid

what disturbs me so bad

well maybe this is the worst feeling i've ever had. I mean, yeah, girls.
last week on thursday april 10th, we had our first date. and I really felt like "oh god I finally find the perfect girl". we were hanging out together, great conversation, we laughed a lot, had really so much fun, however, in every minute you always said that you shouldn't hangout with me like this, that there's one of your best friend likes me and talks about me alot. and you can't do this. you said it thousands fucking times, but i always denied to talk about and keep on ignoring it. untill in the end before I took you home, i started to worry about your friend then i asked "how about your best friend?" and you told me "it's okay, i will slowly talk to her". it really makes me calm and happy.

well after all, it's just so perfect between us, and i know you feel the same way too. i couldn't stop singing all the way home, like thoudsands of flowers in my head. and dream comes true dude.

but the next day, suddenly it all chaged. i asked you again to hangout but you strictly push me that you really shouldn't go on date with me the previous day, that you've betrayed your best friend.
then i went to your home, asked you to come out and discuss to solve the problem together. but you said no, hell no. no that you dont want to see me, no that you dont want to talk about anymore, no that you're done with this.
damn, for a long time that i dont have a relationship, you really broke my heart. how could it be that yesterday we were so perfect then today we ended up like this.
i just wait outside, in front of your house, sitting alone staring at my cell phone, had a chat with you but you just keep on saying that we're not gonna make it.
it's getting late at night, but i just wait outside hoping that you're gonna come out and discuss this together. but yeah, i was a fool hoping that way.
in the end, at about 10 o'clock i give up. i sent you a voice message saying goodbye and my deepest apology for disturbing your time. i went home with tears, i cant stand for it.

the sun arises, a new day begins. still you in my mind, i cant get you out of my head. it's a midtest day, i was thinking to meet you after the test. but what happen, you ask your boy friends to back you up and tell me to go away. for the second time dude, you really broke my heart again. i mean why girls are so complicated, why dont we both just talk, solve it together, and get things done. dammit.
my point is, why you ignore your heart just because your best friend, which actually you still can talk with her.

i guess you woud have hated me now

day by day just past
i feel so terrible ever since, you never want to see me again. we never say hi, you always avoiding me, i dont know what am i suppose to do with this.
thousands of why playin in my head
i cant sleep, i cant focus, i cant stop thinking about you, i swallow every single pain, i see your smile everywhere.

please, we're still friends right?