i thought as much

you just pulling that silent disappointment face on me. and then we had our debate till it finally came out from your mouth. "i don't want to have a chat with you"
i have no idea about what's inside your head. how could it be that we were fine, i mean real fine. then suddenly you turn into that fucking ruthless pathetic person again. damn i guess you would never understand how i feel inside.

you don't have to act like that you know. i'm not even trying to get to you. chill.
but thanks for saying that to me. i really appreciate that. and at least i know one thing for sure.

so i don't have to sit around looking stupid

i don't know in which phase we actually are. we both just don't talk to each other again. you don't even read my messages. it just feels like we only go backwards. fuck

what i hate the most is that you don't even try to tell me how you feel. if you don't want to talk to me, just tell me. if i'm getting on your nerves, just let me know. i at least deserve to know. and i swear i will understand.

please, is this what you want? is this who you are?

ruthless puzzle

so it's been 4 days we have our relationship back to normal after 2-years-no-conversation between us.   three days ago, it was wednesday for exactly. i took her into a food store to talk about what really happen between us for the past 2 years. and it was good, so relieving.

for the second times we hangout together, it was good. yeah i always feel comfortable having a conversation with you. besides, i just figure out something new about you. and it makes me feel a bit cranky. but i really shouldn't talk about that here. the less you know (blog readers) the better.

so anyway, at that moment you told me the full story i've been waiting for from a long time ago. it beats my heart knowing that you read my blog at that moment 2 years ago. i feel so fucking embarrassed. and it's not only you. in fact, you read my blog because your friend told you that i write about you on my blog. damn i feel more embarrassed now. and more, you told me that not only your friend, but also the whole girl on the class read it too. :''''''''(
now everytime i meet my classmates, the girl, i feel so stupid.

by the way, it was so surprising when you told me that every guy that ever had a feeling for you they all become your enemy. no i mean the friendship between you and them becomes awkward. which mean you never manage them properly. poor them.
really, you should stop doing that. it is a bad thing you know.

well that's it. i can't tell so much about that day. the important thing is that we already have our peace, we say hi to each other again, we feel no more awkward between us. goodnight.